Where is my pen?

My mother was often looking for her pen. “Where is my pen?! Who took it? Why do none of you ever put it back where you found it?” I had 3 brothers and then my father who were the possible culprits, aside from me. She used her pen to do the New York Times crossword puzzle, everyday, completely committed to every answer, because she did it in pen.

Whatever her pen was on any given day was whatever pen she was using (ie, it wasn’t always the only pen in the house). Often it was a basic Bic clear plastic ballpoint with the cap (that some school kids used to also clean their teeth or chew on nervously). She also had a fancier Cross pen, but probably resorted to the Bic pen because someone in the house would always take her pen of the day and put it elsewhere. She would also move her pen and probably forget she did that (a very common act for most humans). Often the absent “pen” was over by the phone in the kitchen, so I would look there first. Or, the oldest brother took it upstairs for homework, and never even heard the “where’s my pen” lament, because he was conveniently out of earshot.

Now I’m wondering if the pen was an example of the lack of control she felt she had over what was hers.

This is definitely a basic example of other people looking for something and getting stressed and thus causing me to get stressed. I trained myself to take on their emotion and try to fix the problem to calm my environment, but I know now I don’t need to take on that emotion, especially when it’s just a friggin pen.